I’ve lived in more places than I can count. Growing up with divorced parents and two families, my ‘normal’ was two bedrooms, two spots at the dinner table, two toothbrushes, and two loving homes separated by a car ride and my overnight bag. Through years of packing and unpacking, I became unnaturally attached to things like the grey sagging couch, my dad’s GMC Jimmy and 80’s shirts, and the kitchen table with the notch in the wood. I would cry and insist on saying “goodbye” to these inanimate objects that represented the definition of ‘home’ that I clung to.
I’d like to think I’ve come a long way. I survived the freshman college dorms, and then graduated to three different apartments over three years in the magical city of Edinburgh, Scotland, with a six-month stint in Seville, Spain. Then back ‘home’ again to a new house in Boulder, Colorado with my mom before finding my much-beloved studio apartment with all of its quirks.
‘Home’ has changed from one country to another, from living with my family, to my flatmates, to alone, to with boyfriends. I’ve lived very far away and very close by. Now that I am planning on leaving my current home without a new one lined up, it’s interesting to reflect on what this word means to me.
Of course, where my families live will always be the most natural and concrete ‘home’ for me to go back to, and I am incredibly grateful and lucky that they are there for me. But true to the cliche, home is more than walls and furniture. For me it’s a feeling of security and belonging. It is a restorative place where I can be myself and rest. Oftentimes it’s a sense of familiarity.
Starting in September, home will mean the warmth of strangers, the belongings on my back, Ben’s company, random hostel beds with my insect-repellent sleep liner on top, beautiful landscapes, FaceTiming my family, and keeping in touch with friends online.
In typical me fashion, I wanted to give a little tribute to the place and things that I adore and will miss once they are sold and gone. Here is to a little place I found on Craigslist with a mountain view, vintage appliances, and the perfect amount of space. Since I’m selling most of my things, here is my sappy nonsensical goodbye to my inanimate objects and the wonderful 400 square feet that has been my home for the last year and a half.